Home
Crunchy Coach Blog
Eat to Live
Go Green
Crunchy Parenting
Healthy Home
Happy Mind
Fit and Beautiful
Natural Healing
Article Index
About
Contact
Crunchy Coach Blog
Eat to Live
Go Green
Crunchy Parenting
Healthy Home
Happy Mind
Fit and Beautiful
Natural Healing
Article Index
About
Contact
The Crying Baby: Problem Or Opportunity?
Trying to soothe a crying baby can be a frustrating, even traumatic, experience for a new parent. I know. I've been there.My son was the perfect angel the first four or five days of his life. Most babies are. They've just been through one of the most exhausting events of their lives (childbirth) and all they want to do is sleep for the first few days.
But eventually, like my son Benjamin, they all wake up. And begin to cry. Especially in the evening, right when you're trying to sit down and eat dinner.
A crying baby is a healthy baby, for crying is a baby's primary way of communicating. Babies cry if they:
- are hungry.
- need to pee or poo, or have peed or pooed.
- are tired.
- want to be held.
- are having digestive discomforts (e.g., colic).
- need to burp.
- are too cold or too warm.
- are teething.
- are overstimulated.
- are not feeling well.
Unfortunately, sometime back
in the early twentieth century, some
so-called child "expert" decided that a crying baby was being
manipulative, and to respond to her demands would be to spoil her.Therefore, for the past few generations, conventional wisdom (which is no wisdom at all) has declared, "Ignore your crying baby. Feed him according to a schedule. Do not let babies inconvenience your lives."
May I give you young people who have not yet had children a heads-up? No one who wants a life of convenience decides to have a baby to help them achieve that goal.
Soothing a crying baby
Okay, back to the subject at hand. Babies cry because they need something, not because they are born with demons set on making your life miserable.Why not see your crying baby from a new perspective? Instead of letting the noise get to you, see it as an opportunity to get to know your baby better. To get to know how to nurture her and fulfill her needs.
I will be the first to admit to you that, for the first two to four months, figuring out what your baby needs can lead you into mental acrobatics. Benjamin was four months old before I could discern between his various cries for hunger, sleep, needing to pee, etc.
What did I do for those four months? Everything I could think of. I would always start with putting him to the breast. Then try to burp him, or sing to him, or change his diaper.
Harvey Karp's book helped me a lot in those days. In The Happiest Baby on the Block
, Karp
advises parents to use the five S's when attempting to soothe a crying
baby: - swaddle her;
- lay her on her side or stomach (while in your arms);
- shhh her--loudly;
- swing her (vigorously); and,
- have her suck on something (breast, pacifier, even finger).
Of course, if you can figure out the exact need your baby has at that moment, meeting the need will eliminate the crying.
"But my baby won't go to sleep!"
The most difficult time to have a crying baby in the house is, of course, at night. You're exhausted from working all day (whether at an away-from-home job or taking care of your baby, house, and meals) and having your sleep interrupted numerous times the night before.You are desperate for a full night's sleep. Even if you will be awakened three times, you know you will get a lot more rest if your baby will just go to sleep! Preferably before ten o'clock.
But baby starts crying at 7 p.m. And keeps crying. And crying. And crying.
What's going on?
1. Your baby may be overtired. Ironically, a baby who is overtired has a harder time getting to sleep than one who nods off to dreamland when he first starts feeling sleepy.
Solution? Learn to recognize your baby's early signs of tiredness, such as yawning and rubbing his eyes. Put your baby to bed at that time, rather than waiting until he is so tired he cries.
2. Your baby may be colicky. How do you know? The crying lasts for at least three hours, at least three times a week, for at least three weeks. The baby may spit up frequently, be constipated or have diarrhea, or have a of gas.
Try Harvey Karp's five S's, as well as a homeopathic remedy specifically formulated for colic
.
(See Natural
Baby and Childcare
for a complete list of individual remedies.)A tummy massage or warm water bottle on the abdomen may also help relieve pain. If you are the mother and you are breastfeeding (which I hope you are), you may need to eliminate certain aggravating foods--such as dairy, wheat or onions--from your diet for a time.
3. Your baby may be sick. A fever and/or nasal congestion are indicators
that your crying baby has come down with something, and may be
experiencing related aches and pains as well.Liquid Tylenol is the usual answer given for mildly ill babies, even among naturally-health minded parents. Personally, I am uncomfortable with giving my child something that has been known to cause liver malfunction. I use homeopathic remedies. Although they take longer to relieve symptoms than do drugs, they are gentler on Baby's delicate systems, and they do work.
4. You have a high-needs baby. This type of child has a temperate that requires much higher maintenance, especially in the early months. She may refuse to sleep alone, need to be nursed to sleep every time, and/or need a lot more holding and movement than other babies.
In all of those cases, and in those cases when you are absolutely clueless as to why your baby won't stop crying, the BEST answer is to meet the baby's needs the best you can.
The WORST answer is to drop your screaming child in his crib, close the door, and do your best to ignore the cries.
Yes, I know you are tired. I know you want nothing more than to sleep uninterrupted for about seventy-two hours. I know because I have been there.
I also know that this stage of your baby's life will only last for three months, perhaps a little longer. I know you can get through it, Zombie though you may be during the day, because I got through it.
Some child-rearing experts believe that letting your baby "cry it out" can cause emotional damage later in life. A child left alone to cry for extended periods of time feels abandoned by the very ones he needs and loves. He learns that the world can't be trusted, and that he is undeserving of love.
Scientific research has born out that leaving babies to cry has a negative impact on them, physically and otherwise. Studies have proven that a crying baby left alone for long periods experiences extreme stress.
Moreover, they show that those babies are less developed emotionally and intellectually later in life than babies whose parents responded to their cries.
Some adults feel that their parents letting them "cry it out" has damaged their emotional psyche and, in effect, ruined their life. If you don't believe me, check out this site.
Regardless of where you stand on the "cry it out" debate, if you use this technique to "train" your baby to go to sleep on her own, you miss a wonderful opportunity to bond with her and have the privilege of meeting her needs.
May I coach you? You will not spoil your crying baby by meeting her needs. You will teach her that she is special and loveable, and that she can trust her parents when she needs them.
And she will, eventually, stop crying at all hours of the night.
(For further help on getting older babies and toddlers to sleep without resorting to tears, see Elizabeth Pantley's The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
and The
No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers: Gentle Ways to
Stop Bedtime Battles and Improve Your Child's Sleep
.)
Looking for resources and products to help you "green" your life and enhance your health? Visit
The Crunchy Coach Store.
From positive parenting to healthy eating to organic gardening, these e-books will enhance your natural living journey.
